A Love Letter to NC

9 01 2010

As most of you probably know I have decided not to move back to NC. I have to tell you, it was a wretched learning process just making the decision. A people-pleasing nature combined with a lack of trust in my own decisions with a little “what exactly IS my dream” make for rough going. (But you wouldn’t believe how stretching it is!)

What it came down to is that the reasons I had for going back were reasons birthed from fear. Fear of letting down my NC family and fear that if I made the wrong decision God was going to punish me. It sounds ugly written out and it was ugly in my heart. Not to mention that both are LIES. Firstly because my NC family loves ME and that love is not dependent on whether or not I spend the rest of my life in the same town as them. Secondly because God is good and He is pleased with me and we are going to run together forever! God is good ALL THE TIME and if anything matters then everything matters!

Even now, after the decision has been made and I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, I am sad (or sick or sorry or upset). It’s like a thin layer of black scum that floats to the surface of my heart. I know that I know that I know that my choice was the right one. But the part of me that hates disappointing the people I love and the part that doesn’t want to be misunderstood have joined together to give me a little grief.

In answer I wanted to write my love letter to North Carolina and my family there. Just to put all the goodness in my heart toward them out there into the world and into the unseen.

Dear Carrs, Sue, Therese, Wilmington, North Carolina and the East Coast,

I love you.

I love the sunny days that amaze with warmth. I love the ocean in all times and all moods. I love sand that follows you into your bed because it means that the beach must be near. I love the weird trees that have no branches until high up and up there they are evergreen. I love UNCW and the students therein. I love Flaming Amy’s even though I can’t eat there because it does wretched things to my digestion system.

May every prayer prayed in faith over UNCW, over Wilmington and over North Carolina be answered and speedily. May hosts of angels gather in the land. May the glory of God fall and set the generations free. It’s in the hearts of a little band of people I know- a band (in every sense of the word) that God delights to bless.

I consider myself tied to the land as I am tied to all the places I love. I am committed in prayer to my NC family as well as the region. Know that I have not been scared away, that I am not angry or frustrated or anything but peaceful and happy. I look forward to spending the rest of my life traveling the globe with you crazy characters.

Thank you for letting me go and blessing me in the process.

I’ll be back soon (so stay out of trouble!)






One response

15 01 2010
michael carr

Good Letter. We love you too!

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