Still not dead!

26 10 2009

Still not dead. Moved into townhouse. I have no curtains but I DO have my own bathroom. We will have internet at home by the middle of November and not before so don’t expect regular updates until then. 

My website will be up (and is up temporarily) to be viewed. 

Check it out and let me know what you think. I’m not doing an official announcement yet because it still has a few bugs. 

Love to all.


I’m not dead!

24 10 2009

I am in fact very alive. I have a home. I have two mattresses. I have a mattress cover and a cork board and hand soap and lysol and hangers! Not to mention my curtains. This is a good day. 

No time now. Must go pick up Sue (I have her car). Tess comes home tonight. Loving you all from afar. Please feel free to call me anytime.

High Flyin’

20 10 2009

It’s dark. Around you you can hear the breathing, snorting, coughing, popcorn-crunching mass that makes up an audience. The air is thick with hay and heat and expectation. The ring master’s voice rises above the crowd with in a baritone roar. A spot-light flashes on but it takes a moment for your eye to follow the light-ladder up, up, up.

There! Higher than you could have believed you spot the spangled leotard and crimson scarf around the neck of the acrobat. She’s standing on a platform where the stripes of canvas meet at the peak of the Big Top. 

Confidence oozes from every line of her body. You can see it even from the bottom of the well of darkness where you sit. Fear grips your body for an instant- you see a mind-image of her body falling like a broken-winged bird. The fear dies an instant later. Her confidence is contagious. She will not fall. She cannot fall.

Instead she leaps, hovers on the edge of infinity, then catches herself with breathless ease.  

High flying… 


Sometimes I get upset and don’t know why, so I pick the most likely of the things bothering me and fix on it as the “problem”. Laurie looked at me the other day and just said “Honey, all your nets have been folded up and put away. That’s always kind of scary, but you are learning great things.” And she was right. I’m not upset because of A, B or C. I’m scared because I’m standing at the top of the Big Tent and not seeing the safety that I’m used to.

But here’s the thing: I’m ok. I don’t need them anymore. 

I am that acrobat- spangly outfit and all. Most people could not conceive that flying is possible unless they saw someone do it. It’s my job to be confidant and brave and to do what I’ve been trained to do. A convoluted way of saying “Don’t hide your light under a basket”. 

I’ve left my basket at home and am hiking to the tallest place I can find. When I get there I’m going to light a bonfire.

NC Day 14.

14 10 2009

I’m sitting at the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble with my computer and some hot chocolate. Jason Mraz is telling me that “this is what happiness is/ the wait was so worth it”. I choose to believe him; either because of his liquid-smooth singing voice or his utter sincerity. Or maybe I just know that happiness is the moments when we realize it. My hot chocolate is sweet, my table is near a window where I can watch the wind blow and know that it can’t get to me. I’m alone for the first time in fourteen days and I am soaking in the fullness of the moment.

Hence my poetical rambling. 

Tess told me today at lunch that here the life courses through her veins. She found an apt description for this place where I have landed. Life doesn’t just lap around your ankles here. There are countless moments of hilarity, joy, irritation, eye-rolling and adventure. I smell flowers and have a running tally for all the yellow butterflies that fly by. Two days ago I jog/walked around a golf course (NOT on the greens) and enjoyed the rain on my hands. (The rain also fell on my head and ran down my collar which was less enjoyable). Read the rest of this entry »

I had a dream

5 10 2009

I had a dream that I would write a meaningful and informative blog update for you all. Sadly it’s not going to happen. It took us ten hours to get out of the house and to a place with internet and aforementioned place is only open for another 22 minutes. Sorry everyone. Maybe during down time tomorrow I will write a better update and then just post it next time I am near a wi-fi signal.

Among the things that Tess, Sue and I deem necessary is our own secure wi-fi network. Once we actually move into a place we will get that set up. 

Oh yeah. We still don’t have a home. It’s less traumatic than it sounds. Tess and I are living with the Carr family. I help Laurie do school with the young ones and Tess is also helpful. We figure we’re saving money in the long run. 

And Carina is taping episodes of Castle for us to watch upon my return. Therefore all is well. 

Hope things are good with all ya’ll. Feel free to call anytime. I don’t do much around here and therefore I have LOTS of phone-chatting time on my hands. Much love.