Cover One Eye and REACH

29 07 2009

Today was an exceptionally busy, and record-breakingly WARM day. I spent the morning with my grandparents chatting, looking at my Grandpa’s HO scale model trains and talking about weddings. My grandmother has both her and my great aunt Ammie’s wedding dresses hanging in her closet. We pulled them out and they are exquisite. Almost breathtakingly lovely. She offered either of them to me when I get married (as well as the dress that my aunt and mother both wore).

What I would really like to do, though, is shorten my Grandma’s and wear it as my going-away dress. HER mother made it and it is cream and gold brocade. Beautiful. I wonder if she’d let me do that… My aunt Ammie’s was also beautiful but is a dark dusky rose color and FAR too short for me, I’m sure. It was cocktail length on her and I’ve got her beat by more than a few inches.

After that really pleasant visit I nannyed and took a trip to the Bellevue Regional Library. Either the weather has everyone cranky, the sun was blinding them or there was some kind of regional let’s-nearly-kill-Meghan-with-our-overpriced-vehicles-just-to-freak-her-out day. I got home with my vehicle, my sanity and my Pad Thai intact, though it was almost 7pm.

Far too late for dinner, btw.

(Oh and did I mention the 11 books I checked out for our beach trip…?)

At one point tonight I was sitting on our back porch just kind of staring out into space. My mom puts a bunch of potted plant arrangement on our back porch every summer, and this year she has a really cool one. For some reason I reached up and one of my eyes got covered for like a split second. I happened to be staring at the really amazing plant arrangments and the sudden loss of depth perception made the colors and composition POP. I put my hand back up and purposelly covered my eye for several long moments. I even tried to reach out and “grab” the plants.

I would love to make something really epic and deep out of the experience- to be honest if I could think of something deep I WOULD do just that. But really it was just a happy moment. In addition, it made me appreciate Dale Chihuly  just a little bit more. What a wonderful world he must live in- to create art without the usual limitations or benefits of depth perception. 

It made me want to paint. Which I did. At ten pm. While listening to really loud music. 

I also talked to my sister, texted with MCarr (which is how I picture his name in my mind), read my book, enjoyed the fact that the cleaners CLEANED MY ROOM AND MADE MY BED, and drank some fancy Italian lemon drink stuff. 

Now I’ve got the AC cranked up (down?) to 69 degrees in preparation for trying to sleep. Goodnight all. Much loves.

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Non-Informative Update

26 07 2009

I got some helpful input tonight from St Francis. We talked about living whole-heartedly wherever you are, and it helped me get in a better head space about the next two months. Also, Eric Westad prayed for me tonight and it felt like a benediction from the Pope. Ha ha. 

In a few days I’ll be done with my commissioned paintings and off to the beach for vacation. 

Vacation.

Bliss.

So there you go. I’m busy but glad to be moving forward.





It’s A Festivus Miracle!

25 07 2009

But really, in all seriousness….
I just woke up from sleeping for 11 hours (I NEVER sleep this late or THAT long) and I actually feel like a person again.
I’m not saying the world is suddenly perfect and all my emotions have been neatly resolved. I AM saying that I can finally make progress toward the above because only a person can resolve emotions and this past week I have been something lower than a vertebrae mammal.
Praise the Lamb I’m human again!





Life Between Gears

23 07 2009

The main reason I started this blog was that I wanted to communicate my life to my family while I was in New Zealand. It’s far more quick and easy to dissemble information over the internet than it is to call everyone and tell them everything individually. Since I started walkingintherain two years ago, it has turned into something more like a processing plant. I chuck things out and see how they are recieved, whether deep or shallow, and move from there. I’ve talked about life, I’ve written stories, I’ve tried to share a bit of who I am, and I’ve written entire posts about goats. You have all born with me beautifully and I thank you.

These days I am often too tired to write anything. Work, commissioned paintings, emotional apathy and busyness have kept me from posting anything other than the littlest posts. I’m staring down the face of a massive change in my life- uncomfortable with the idea of living someplace other than “home” and unsure of what my place is in NC. I’ve always known my place, you know? I’ve always known, if not what any particular day would look like, at least what the overarching theme of existence was. That’s changing in September and instead of being scary it feels a little lonely. Me without my structure. The good news is that I trust the Lord 100% and there is always Glory Carr to fall over on when I’m feeling far-from-home-ish. Read the rest of this entry »





Erin’s Wedding

15 07 2009

Well kids, I’m off. The last of my dear friends is getting married on Saturday and I’m heading to beautiful Spokane to be the greatest maid-of-honor-in-all-but-name that ever graced this planet.

Imagine it as the emotional equivalent of the polar bear club for the single twenty-something woman. You know it’ll be invigorating and worth the jump but DANG that water is icy cold.

I love my friend (and her soon-to-be hubby).
I love weddings.
Jesus LOVES weddings.
It’s going to be awesome.
(But DANG that water is cold!)

Pray for me as I pray for myself. Then pray triple portion blessings over Erin and Shae.

P.S. I’ve been in a wedding every year for four years. Now I’m out of close friends. What WILL I do with myself next year…? 🙂





Definitions

12 07 2009

You can’t define me
         Make a list of words
  Words like, “girl”, “painter”, “difficult”, “cold”, “funny”
    I could do the same for you
  But I won’t

The words are tiny fetters
    Miniscule chains for an immeasurable soul
Little boxes to pack away a personality
  And I won’t pack you away
Don’t you try to put me in a box, any box.

Or do.
    Do try.
You won’t succeed. You can’t win against my secret… 

I know something that you don’t,
   And it protects me
from all your coffin-shaped boxes.

 

 I fly.
There are no chains here.
No boxes.
So come on!
Come be with me in the sky- be free!
I’m inviting you out of your definitions
away from your comfortable confinement
Risk.
Adventure.
YOU.

It’s all up here.

come on 





Goldfinger

11 07 2009

I’ve discovered something since Thursday- my happy place is when I am painting. 

And no, I’m not a total idiot for not figuring that out sooner. I’ve always enjoyed my art but I’ve only now reached the skill level to be able to rise above the ever-present frustration. Imagine how much of a release art is for even the beginner- now take away most of the fumbling and almost all of the frustration… that’s what it’s been like lately. 

The past couple days have been a combination of really difficult and really lovely. As always in my life, God drops little Moments into my lap to remind me that I’m loved, yet it has still been taxing. The weather was gray, my life is in transition, relationships are a strange balancing act and I’ve been mostly alone. 

Anyway, whenever things get really emotionally strange I either pray or paint. The two things are becoming more and more similar as the days pass. I can’t always get the words that would fit my prayer, but I can always get a picture that expresses what is going on. 

Since Thursday I have begun four paintings and finished four paintings. (One project from the past three weeks is finally done. Four new paintings were started and three of those are done.) I have quite a queue of work lined up and today found me painting on three separate occasions. On Thursday I discovered Jazz and so have had new music to help inspire the work. (We can credit the presets on my dad’s car for my discovery of Jazz…)

The last painting of today (yesterday?) was begun at 11:15 and finished just after midnight.  Both of my hands are covered in gold paint. Its created a really great pattern on a couple of my fingernails….

Point being, of the seven commissioned pieces I’m working on right now, four of them are done, the fifth is planned out, the sixth is a prophetic portrait and the seventh will tax all my abilities. 

God takes such good care of me! And I get to have fun through even the toughest days.