On the Brain

9 06 2009

My heart (and schedule) are very full these days. 

Last Saturday was my first day back working at the theatre. Starting tomorrow I work there 7 shows a week for the next three weeks. The very thought makes me want to sigh. I’ve been there for three years and it’s never been as hard as it was last Saturday and Sunday. The entire atmosphere is emotionally draining, the more so because I actually want to be enjoying myself. My only theory (other than just plain old fashioned grumpiness) is that the Lord is helping me by making it VERY clear that this season is over. If only this season were over at the theatre too… I appreciate the money and they’ve decreased the length of my shifts and the HS is very kind so I’ll make it but phew! I wish it were July.  

The UP side of the whole work thing is that (for the very first time) I am able to wander around that building without entertaining the thought “if only I could sing like these people…”. Most of you won’t understand what an ENORMOUS thing that is in my life. I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that I had something major missing from my list of skills because I didn’t have a Broadway-caliber voice. I flat out don’t care anymore, even if it is true, which of course its not.

My dearest friend from high school just called to tell me that he’s taken a job in Washington DC and so we will be east-coasters together! It’s an awesome opportunity and I am really excited for him. Oddly, as a by-product I have renewed optimism for my own future. My own dream job is just around the corner…

Whenever I lay down to go to sleep my brain kicks into major overdrive. I consider my lack of practical life-knowledge, whether or not to buy sheets in Seattle and send them to W, or wait and buy bedding when I get there. Other things like, “I don’t own pots and pans” or “I don’t particularly want a car but will I live close enough to the Carr’s to be able to bike to work?” or “how the heck will I send my keyboard to W without breaking the budget?” None of this stuff needs to be addressed right now but my brain insists on hamster-wheeling. 

Painting becomes more and more of a refuge for me as my days progress. I shut the door and leave the entire world behind. It’s the closest thing to an out-of-body experience that I can imagine occurring in the normal course of a day. It’s just me and Jesus.

That’s most of it. (Other than a strained pectoral muscle and the fact that my car is covered in pollen)

Miss my sister.

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