It came from the black lagoon…

21 10 2008

…and took up residence on my face.

I shall explain.

In the last-ditch effort to cure my three very painful canker sores, my mother and I took a little side trip to the drug store today. We found a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash (recomended by the pharmacist) and these tiny little canker sore patches. The rinse is pretty straight forward. It’d be a great way to trick your friends into thinking you were rabid. It also hurts. Remember pouring hydrogen peroxide on your cuts as a kid? Imagine that in your mouth.

But the patches are the real inspiration for my title today. When you take them out of the packaging they are incredibly inoffensive looking. They look like miniature versions of the non-scuff pads that you put on the bottom of your kitchen stool. Then you put it in your mouth where it swells up like an offended toad. It takes on the taste of three-days composted mint leaves, the texture of gelatin (which is itself made of unmentionable animal parts) and the look of a tiny deep sea invertebrate. It would have been ok if this particular canker sore was not so close to my lip. As it was, that tiny deep sea invertebrate looked like it was trying to crawl out my mouth.

Not my best look.

But it makes for a good story!




2 responses

22 10 2008
Jennifer James

Wow, that’s a profoundly gross description. I sincerely hope they clear up soon, and for crying out loud, take some vitamins or something.

22 10 2008

Good. I was going for “profoundly gross”. And I’m taking all the vitamins that I can!

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