Planning Vacations

28 09 2008

Ok, so one of my guilty pleasures is planning vacations that I lack the finances to take.

One of the places that I have never been is Hawaii. Now, I fully approve of the classic hotel-on-the-beach approach to a Hawaiin vacation. I’m actually a secret fan of tourist traps.

Point being, if given free reign, my tastes run to the… shall we say deluxe?

Today I’ve decided to visit the lovely island of Kauai. My villa is a thousand feet above the water and surrounded by 11 acres of wildlife. There are only two bedrooms (one more than I need, of course). Most importantly, there is both a hot tub and a soaking tub.

I’m going to spend my time reading, swimming and drawing copious amounts of little sketches of the island. I am leaving my computer and dvd player at home. Some vacations require entertainment options, but ‘villa on the beach’ is not one of them. I’ll have my cell phone with me in case you need me, but I’m trying to go ‘off grid’ so don’t bug me unless it’s urgent.

Now, no voyage to the lovely warm waters of Hawaii would be complete without scuba diving. And scuba diving with a group of people/ a teacher is lame. Therefore I will need to take Scuba lessons.

Moreover, if you are going to be playing in the water, you need a few new swimming suits. Swimming suits are hard to find, so it’s better to buy them designer.

I really should take a buddy in case that scuba diving thing works out. It’s really a bad idea to scuba without a buddy. Also, I want someone there to pee on my foot if a jellyfish stings it. Anybody want to come with me and hang out at the villa and (possibly) pee on my foot?

That’s the fun thing about fake vacations. You can spend as much “mind money” as you want to. This kind of vacation is once in a lifetime, if you are lucky, and I think that if such things really do come off they should be magnificent.

So there you are. Next week I’m going to the south of France.

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