Birds and Bugs

8 08 2008

I blame the birds. In life it is often expedient to blame the nearest semi-intelligent form of life for anything that might be going wrong. If things are going right, well then, one must blame oneself. To allow credit to go unclaimed is, in all situations, a disaster.


What was I saying?


Oh yes. The birds.


If the birds had not been swinging from such low branches, and if their song had been slightly less delightful and if my little brother did not have a cat-like mentality, we probably would have made it to the wedding. We were supposed to be at the wedding. It was a very important one. It isn’t every day that your neighborhood butcher marries her high school sweetheart.


They really are a lovely couple. She can butterfly a steak like no-one I’ve ever seen and he has a charming painting school for overly-tall sons of chimney sweeps. You can imagine that she had lots of business, while he has only ever had two students; both from the same family.  (Not surprising since there are only three chimney sweeps in town, two of whom are bachelors and all of whom are undersized.)


We were on the way to the car when The Great Distraction began. Our road is overhung with very old trees. In the trees are scads of little bugs. Trying to find the bugs are, at any given time, three hundred odd birds. My little brother loves the bugs more than anything else. I like the birds. The fights that ensue over “The Right of Every Bug to Live” vs “The Right of Every Bird to a Decent Meal” are epic. Today was no different.


So there we stood in the middle of the driveway, hands full of wedding presents, hurling insults and reverse logic back and forth at one another. We got our best shoes dusty from stamping in the dirt. My hair got mussed by the birds who swung down to give encouragement in the form of pecks and scratches.


 Come to think of it, they may have just been looking for bugs.


Anyway, we missed the wedding and became thoroughly dirty. And I blame the birds.



3 responses

8 08 2008

hahaha! It took me a second to get that it was a story, but when I got it, I loved it and read it twice.

Very good.

*encouraging pecks and scratches*

8 08 2008

Are you sure you aren’t just looking for bugs?

I kind of wanted it to take a while for people to “get” it. It makes it more entertaining for me.

Loves to your face.

9 08 2008
Jennifer James

Nope my scratches and pecks were definitely encouraging ones. I wish you were here to hang out with. We could buy shoes.

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