Babysitting Soup

29 07 2008

Have any of you ever heaved a ham bone complete with bits of flesh and fat out of a pan of ham-stock and onto a cutting board? Have you then had to decide at what place to attack said hambone so you could remove all neccesary meat? Have you been confused by the bone of the oinker, thinking that it looked like a tonka toy? Have you been put-off by the boiled-flesh smell of hot ham?

Yeah. Me neither.

Today’s ‘Task of the Day’ is making ham soup. 

First you boil a ham bone leftover from Easter for about two hours in a large soup pot. It will fill your home with an aroma that is both pleasant and oddly reminiscent of Top Ramen.

Then commences the above mentioned chopping up of the ham. You have to get the good, non-fatty bits chopped up very finely and tossed back into the pot of simmering stock.

After that you tuck your pants into your socks (a very important step!) and go out into your rain-drenched herb garden (did we mention it was raining?) to get herbs. Rosemary, marjoram and basil are the best. Try to avoid grabbing handfuls of slug as they ruin the texture of even the best soups. Wrap up the herbs in several layers of cheesecloth with three crushed garlic cloves and two bay leaves. Write a reminder note to buy a bay tree. Toss the herb satchet into the stock.

Haul the ham-bone out to the garbage. You will be disapointed in yourself for not having stripped more meat off of it, but less meat is better than gagging on ham-scent.

Now hack a good sized hunk off of a large white onion. Toss it into the stock along with pepper and salt.

Grab at least two different tomato products (preferably in cans, preferably not ketchup) and add them to your soup. (You can start calling it soup when the ham bone has been disposed of.) Remember to open the cans first. If you are having an Amelia Bedilia day, do not attempt to follow these directions.  

Grab the nearest bottle of opened wine and pour a liberal amount into the soup. Red or white work. If you like the stuff, pour a liberal amount down your throat.

Then you get to babysit the soup for several hours. It’s not until the last half hour that carrots, diced onion, celery and barley are added. That is also when you remove the herb satchet.

Then you have soup. We recomend serving it with homemade bread or biscuits. If you don’t make homemade baked goods, biscuits in a can will do. If even that is beyond you, grab some saltines and enjoy!

Note- if you poured a LOT of wine down your throat, have someone else ladle out the soup as your hand-eye coordination will no doubt be impaired.

Prepare to hear of more “Tasks of the Day” in the near future.




5 responses

29 07 2008
Jennifer James

I am entranced by your explanation of soup making. I would also like some soup. Please come over and make me some.

29 07 2008

Hot soup in summer-style Kansas City?


30 07 2008

you even make soup-making artistic!

30 07 2008
Jennifer James

Meghan- You need to tell mom how to log on when you are logged on. Otherwise it looks like you post alot. 🙂 HAH!

30 07 2008

She KNOWS how to change it. She just doesn’t like to bother. Silly mothers!

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