The Prophetic

18 10 2007

Today was a hard day, but a day chock full of blessings nevertheless.

For example, I asked God for the grace to wake up at 6 every morning and go running. But last night I set my alarm for 7.15, figuring that ‘I don’t feel too good and should sleep in’. What time did I wake up? 5.55am. Not only that but I actually got out of bed and went for a run!

By the time I got back I’d spent a half an hour arguing with myself about whether or not to stay home from the prayer room. I wasn’t feeling too hot and kind of felt the Lord urging me to stay home. Here is how the conversation went- “God, should I stay home?” You should. “But I have cute hair!” Yeah. You should stay home.

So I pulled out my bible and crayons and went through the first twenty two chapters of Proverbs, coloring the different topics in different colours. Wisdom is green, Kingship/dealing with people is blue, feelings are red, riches and blessing are gold and hope is purple. Then I had my mid-morning meal and crawled into my bed. I was asleep within ten minutes and slept for two hours. The best part was that I woke up in the middle of a huge rain squall. It was very happy.

It’s been a hard few days in some areas that I thought didn’t really matter. (And here I am in a dilemma- how much do I share on a blog that has the audience it does? Stuff it. I’ll just tell you and you can take it with a grain of salt.)

First off, the lovely Anna had the “keep singing in the clinics” conversation with me yesterday. Bless her heart you could see in her face how much she dislikes these talks. I did not expect to get onto a team right away so she need not have worried. She gave me some stuff to work on which I appreciated. All that said, and with the reminder that I appreciated it and totally understand the decision, it’s an old wound. My whole life the enemy has been telling me that I can’t sing and shouldn’t try. Others are more talented and I haven’t much to offer. I must still believe it in part because, walking back to the car in the wind, I could feel that part of my heart shrinking up into its’ shell again.  I’ve never wanted to have a brilliant singing career and the various instruments I’ve played have long since faded into dim memory. But you aren’t hurt this easily in areas that aren’t important to you. God’s doing something in this and I’m just placing my hands under His feet and hoping He’ll show me what it is soon.

Point being, today I was struggling with that quite a bit, especially towards the beginning of class. Karina looked over at me at one point and goes “you are such a movie star with that hair” and it made me Holy-Spirit-laugh. I begin to wonder about my exact role in filmmaking, and how this all ties in with what the Lord has been showing me recently….

Much back story for the following bit. I spend most of my time in the prayer room asking the Lord to show me how to love Him and that He would prove that He loves me. Also, yesterday on my walk I heard the line “The winds of change are blowing wild and free” and felt the prophetic of that in my life.

Additionally I was thinking about salvation. In my head it went like this “Lord, I get salvation. I mean, I don’t get salvation, but I sort of understand the general idea. I know that You ‘saved me’, but are you sure I wasn’t an afterthought?” Clearer than I’ve ever heard anything in my life I heard the following, and it answers everything in the above paragraph.

When the rain’s blowing in
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel My love

Evening shadows and the stars appear
There is no-one to dry your tears
I would hold you for a million years
To make you feel My love

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
That I would never do you harm
But I’ve known it from the moment that we met
There’s no doubt in My mind where you belong

The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain’t seen nothing like Me yet…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Lord speaks to me in Garth Brook’s songs.

This is my life.

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5 responses

18 10 2007
Jennifer James

Oh that’s kind of awesome. I think I am tearing up a little.

Meghan- In the name of Jesus, sing free! I declare your value as a daughter of Jesus! You sing dangit, because when all the “good and super” singers get picked off by the Antichrists militia in the end of the Age, someone has to get up on stage, grab the mike, and keep that fire burning.

GO. SING. NOW.

18 10 2007
walkingintherain

I love you seester!

18 10 2007
Father Smith

Meg,

Sing free and dance! I love your heart! For my part…I will dance independently until your return. Looks like we may have a big windstorm today…the EB 5000 is ready to go!

Dad

19 10 2007
Alana

Meghan… sing your guts out!! Do it. It’s not about who has the best voice. It’s about the heart of worship… and you definitely have one! A beautiful one! I know it brings up pain sometimes when we don’t “make it” onto teams or into things that we want to, but the Lord has great things for you ahead! And Karina was right; the haircut is phenomenal! Can’t wait to see where the Lord takes you! I love you friend. You’re wonderful.

PS- I have so enjoyed reading about our adventures in Wellington! You’re a gifted story-teller and writer!

19 10 2007
Donna James

So you know the number 5 is grace—you asked for grace and got it!!! I love it !! I agree –sing!!!! Bless you!!Donna

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