OK. Now I’m Mad.

14 07 2007

I was browsing some of the “hot posts” on wordpress’ main page today when I came across this little gem.  This person is talking about the ‘purity balls’ where girls pledge to remain sexually pure until they are married. What follows is an extract from the end of a rather long commentary about the futility and women bashing-ness of the whole thing.

“As such, would it not be more practical to teach these youngsters about responsible sexual conduct instead of placing unreasonable expectations on them that create feelings of failure and guilt about an action that is biologically natural?”…..

We can be such prudes sometimes with our own sexuality that we shy away from the important task of educating our teens about sex. In the meantime, they are learning about it on the street – the worst place ever. The street does not teach our girls about sexually contracted diseases, what steps to take to prevent pregnancy or how to fend off an unwanted sexual advance.

We do not need a new trend that unrealistically insists on purity until marriage, we need to live in reality and teach our daughters – and our sons – about responsible sexual conduct. If we keep our heads in the clouds and believe teens will remain pure until they are married, we do them and society a terrible injustice.”

Ok, first of all, what gives ANYONE the right to tell me what I am or am not capable of? So suddenly every girl under 24 is incapable of handling her “biologically natural” feelings any other way than by having sex?

Now granted, the temptation is there. I’m not saying that abstinence is easy because it’s not. But the plain fact of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with holding our children up to a higher standard. The logic that ‘they are going to do it anyway so you are better off teaching them how to do it safely’ is repulsive and insulting to me. It is exactly the same logic that some parents use when they buy their underage children and their children’s friends alcohol. This isn’t protecting anyone! If anything it’s teaching your kids that they are incapable of holding themselves to high standards. You’re giving up on them before they’ve even tried.

What is wrong with teaching our kids a little self-respect? Sex isn’t just a fun extra-curricular activity, it’s a serious connection forged with someone else. You are de-valuing yourself every time you make that connection with someone who has not earned it.

And let’s all be honest here. These girls aren’t learning about sex ‘on the street’. They are learning about it in houses where they parents leave them unattended. They are learning about it because no-one took the time to find out where they were going that night. They are learning about it from friends who exert immense amounts of social pressure on them. In short, they are learning about it because no-one with authority in their lives will take the time to talk about it and follow through. If every young girl (or guy) had a parent or mentor who would come alongside them and watch their backs (ie, knowing where they were and who with) this would no longer be an issue.

So talking about sex with your kids is awkward. So what?! It’s more awkward to have a daughter who was date raped because no-one told her that some guys aren’t above drugging her drink.

So you don’t like being the bad-guy and telling your kid ‘no’. That’s not an excuse! You aren’t really loving them if you are always trying to make them like you!

Wow. I haven’t been this riled in a good long while. But the fact is, this is something too close to my heart to be ignored. I’m sick of my generation being patronised and our sinful behavior excused as “natural”. Just because my teeth are made to eat human flesh doesn’t mean I’m out cooking my neighbor with sage and potatoes.

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One response

16 07 2007
Jennifer James

Actually I am pretty sure all we learned in school was how not to get an std, and what to do to not get pregnant. Basic biological education would have been more helpful. What a load of serious hookielaus that article was.
I think ti’s funny that in this world of free speech and freedom for all forms of thought, the only people that are “wrong” are Christians. We are the only group not allowed to function and think and speak the way we would like. Is that weird to anyone else?

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