If you neglected to meet Fredward yesterday then you missed your chance entirely. Tonight after I got home from my 13-hour day, I took Fredward’s candle outside where I removed Fredward from it with a small stick.
Good luck with your new life in my bay tree, Fredward. It was nice sharing my bathroom with you for the past eight days. You didn’t use my towels or my favorie shampoo, you never kicked me out or left your underpants underfoot. I appreciate your stoic silences, the way you were always there no matter what and how good your home smelled.
In the interest of your continued existence I had to let you go. It was hard. I will miss you. In the end, though, it’s really all for the best. Go! Be free! You were the best non-pet spider I could have asked for!
