Ok, so maybe I’m just slow…

But I had the weirdest experience EVER last night.

I was laying in bed and my mind was wandering (as minds are wont to do when one is on the verge of sleep) and the strangest realization came over me. Now, keep in mind that this would only seem odd to me. I’m sure the rest of this world has had or does have this thought frequently.

Ready?

Someday I’m going to be married.

I had one of those more-real-than-life pictures in my head of walking through Pottery Barn, holding hands with someone whose face I couldn’t see, and looking at china patterns.

I think I stopped breathing momentarily.

Somehow, in my head, my height/personality/intelligence/life-goals/odd approach to church and God omitted me from ever getting married. I honestly have never believed that I would ‘get hitched’. Until last night I didn’t even know that I thought that way!

Point being, it was a big swirl of weirdness that landed on my cranium and kept me awake for another thirty minutes.

Which is possibly why I am yawning up a storm at work today. Oh well.

A Life Apart

I am feeling vaguely philosophical today. Though, to be honest, I’m also slightly sleepy and the two sensations are incredibly similar.

This morning while running home from the gym I was considering the completely seperate-ness of human life. Bear with me while I attempt to unravel some cerebral snarls here.

It is literally impossible for one human being to make another do something. Certainly we can coerce one another or manipulate situations to achieve a desired effect, but we can’t make another human being choose to play along. For example, say I want to make you walk through a door. I can ask you nicely, but you might refuse. I could threaten you in some fashion, but you might still refuse. The decision to walk through the door, regardless of circumstances, has to be yours. I could carry you through the door bodily, but then I would be moving you, you would not have chosen to move yourself.

Pause and let that sink in for a moment.

Or say you fall in love with someone for all the right reasons. They are funny and good-looking etc etc ad infinitum. That person has a choice about how they feel about you. Further they have the choice to act on or not act on those feelings. You might ‘trick’ them into reciprocating by changing things about yourself, but even then it is their choice.

The point is, we Christians talk a lot about how everyone else seems to be missing the boat about God/Jesus/Grace/’being saved’. The fact is, though, all those people have made a choice. We cannot and God will not force them to do anything they don’t want to do. The Bible says that all of creation testifies of God. Therefore, by ignoring that ever-present testimony humanity has made a choice. And we can’t do one single thing about it.

Except pray.

Prayer seems to be the only exception to this rule. The complete self-abandonment of whole-hearted pray is capable of breaking down the most resistant barriers and releasing the Holy Spirit to do miracles. (At this point, if you don’t believe that God still does miracles HERE and NOW please leave me a one to two page paper on the verse that says “He is the same yesterday today and forever”.)

So what is the answer? In a world where the smallest amount of intimacy is achieved at huge cost and through enormous effort, and where intimacy is the cry of every heart we have only one option.

Pray.

Lesser thoughts of a greater mind

Subtitle- “Because thoughts only become great after much thinking.”

Topic 1- Running on a sunny morning.

              I went to the gym this morning wearing black stretch pants with cut off gray sweats over them. When I came down the stairs my parents laughed at me and I was confused. I’m a dancer. We’re supposed to wear gray cut-off sweats over everything. The people at the gym seemed to agree with my folks. I got more than one bemused look.
               After pounding it out for half an hour (today was an ‘arms’ day) I got suited up for the run home. Now, when I woke up this morning it was 20 degrees outside. When we left the house it was 24. And I wanted to run home.
            ‘Cause I’m just that crazy.
            But if you wear two pairs of pants, a moisture-wicking-super-swank-bright-red shirt, a sweatshirt, a Northface fleece and a hat, it’s not so bad. And, even though you can see your breath and your warmth causes condensation to form like a sci-fi personal force field, it’s a pretty great experience.
        Now, I’m not a runner. I top out at about ten-minute miles for 40 minutes. But the thing is, I actually enjoy it. I like feeling like I’m about to hurl. I like getting red-faced and scary-looking. I like when I take off my hat and my hair stands up straight. More than that, though, I like the numb-legs feeling you get after a good run.
       But the best part, as far as I am concerned, is the people. Today I got to chat with two dog-walkin’ ladies and a bus full of wee children honked at me. Not bad for a girl who looks like an over-stuffed peep when she runs.
     And, if the sun is just rightt and the weather is perfect (or if there is no sun and the weather is crummy) you can have some great prayer time while you’re pounding the pavement. I recomend it highly.

 

So I’m on a movie kick…

And demanding audience participation.

Plus, I’m at work and so cannot spare the time/brain cells to create a thoughtful commentary on life as I know it.  (Additionally, I who have no money seem to continue finding funds to purchase old movies… I think it might be a sickness.)

PLUS I really like you all, my readers, and want to know more about you.

Therefore, a posit yet another question:

If you heard that they were going to make a movie based on your favorite book, and they were offering you any part you wanted, what part would you take?

ie- If you could play your favorite fictional character in a movie, who would it be?

To make it more interesting- Give us the character of choice that is your gender, and the character of choice of the opposite gender.

Make sense?

Ok, ready….steady…ROCK!

Who loves movies?

Meghan loves movies!

And, to get you all in on the movie-loving fantasticness…

I want everyone who reads this blog and especially those who’ve never commented before to post a favorite movie quote as a way of introducing yourself. I want to know who you are and I want you to sum it up in a well-chosen sentence or two.

Won’t you please? justeastofwest’s readers are playing along….

Things I Love a Lot

It’s another day at the box office and I am not allowed to do data entry any more this week. This is a self-imposed rule but my boss doesn’t mind so we’re going to go with it. The other day I came home from work and literally could not move my right arm because it hurt so badly. It ached from wrist to elbow and I had to ice it and drive one-handed.

Point being, I thought I would entertain you all with yet another glimpse into the psyche of Meghan. What follows is a list of things that I really really enjoy.

Writing

I found something very interesting today while surfing that tags on wordpress. You can read the whole thing or just the following extract.  

“To be a writer you have to think everything is more interesting than you.

Writing isn’t about exercising your ego. It’s about erasing your ego. It’s about getting out of the way of whatever needs to be said, so that it can be said in a way that does justice to the thing that’s telling you what you need to say about it.”

This is, by far, the truest thing I’ve read today. In fact, you can apply it to most things in life. We like to think we’re the center of our universe (though of course, that isn’t true) and its so nice to think of ourselves as ‘artists’ who are giving great insights to the world.

Which is complete rot.

It’s also why one of my life goals is to be one of those really influential, easily recognizable people who’s name no-one can remember. “Oh yeah, her. I saw her in that one thing, she was great! What was her name again?”

If they remember the painting/performance/speech/event/book but don’t remember my name I will consider it a job well done.

After all, it’s not about me.

It’s all in the delivery

I have something new to add to my list of the world’s most dissapointing build-ups. (Actually, since I’ve never had a list like that before, it’ll be #1 for a while…)

When the Fed Ex (or UPS) guy drives his HUGE truck through the snow, parks it in front of your house, sits there for five minutes and then drives away.

No presents for me.

Wiretapping Strangers

It started out pretty innocent. Then against, doesn’t everything? I knew a kid growing up who loved to catch tadpoles and watch ‘em grow. Now he’s a research biologist who catches tadpoles and watches ‘em grow. Tell me, is that a life you’d want? My own dad had spent his childhood playing “Zorro” and watching the chefs down at the Pig n’ Pasta. He grew up to own the second best Mexican restaurant/drive in movie theatre in the whole state.

It’s a shame, really.

But enough of that bunny trail.

I was sitting in my garage one day, just fiddling around with some old tools and bits of wire. I’d been trying to clean out this one cupboard for years and could never seem to get around to it. Personally, I think it was my better nature asserting itself. I knew for a fact that there was a perfectly respectable family of black rats in that cupboard (third shelf) and I just hated to bother ‘em.

Dad always said that it was just pure cussed lazyness that kept that cupboard filthy. I just don’t buy that explanation, though. Not for a second.

Coming soon

First, please visit Jason’s blog for a reply to my ’scary movie’ post of yesterday. He’s done a really good job explaining what I could not.

Secondly, I’m working for just six hours today, but even MY boss can’t fill six hours with mid-season busy work. Hence I am working on a story for you all. A long time ago I asked for story ideas and Jennifer (round of applause please) gave me a list of ten. I used one of them for an ‘end of the world’ story and am going to use another for today’s.

Incidentally, if you have any new story suggestions I might do two short stories today.

And then I’m going to see a play!